August 19, 2008

McManus Dude

  • DUDE: Hey, baby. What turns you on?
  • STEPH: The normal stuff. You know, like kissing, groping, and a knife going in and out of a dude's asshole repeatedly. What turns you on?
  • DUDE: Big tits, full, thick lips.
  • STEPH: Hmm, I guess the same stuff doesn't really turn us on.
  • DUDE: You have really big lips and nice tits. You wanna leave here, go back to my place? I can do things, no man's done to you before.
  • STEPH: Alright, but I think you should know that I have a tumor that kind of sticks out of my vagina a little. Some dudes like it.
  • [Then his phone rang, silently, and he "picked it up" and walked away. I bet he was the one, too. Dub darn it.]
August 16, 2008
What’s sad is not that Encore made Costner a movie genre. What is sad is that when you click on the “genre” the only movies on the list, besides Field of Dreams, were The Postman, Rumor Has It, Tin Cup, and Water World.
What’s sad is not that Encore made Costner a movie genre. What is sad is that when you click on the “genre” the only movies on the list, besides Field of Dreams, were The Postman, Rumor Has It, Tin Cup, and Water World.
August 13, 2008
I am the Goat God!

(via gabrus)

Oh yeah? Well, Streisand is German for the fine hairs on a horse’s ass. YEAH! …yeah.  …(Sigh)

August 11, 2008
“ Alan Starzinski fought a good match. I’d like to congratulate Alan for beating up a 32-year-old married woman. I’d also like to congratulate Alan for investing over $2,000 into classes at the Upright Citizens Brigade. And, finally, I’d like to congratulate Alan for realizing that he should never dye his hair that ugly color again. Congratulations, Alan.
Shannon O’Neill (after losing a hardcore wrestling match against Alan Starzinski [She barely lost])
August 4, 2008
This car made me ask myself the morbid question, “If one of the owner’s kids died, would they be more upset that their kid is dead or more upset that they have to go get a new license plate?” I’d like to think it’s the latter.
This car made me ask myself the morbid question, “If one of the owner’s kids died, would they be more upset that their kid is dead or more upset that they have to go get a new license plate?” I’d like to think it’s the latter.
July 26, 2008
Oh my god, it’s real!
July 13, 2008
When you put in ”crotch rot” on a google images search, this picture comes up. Isn’t it adorable? Almost makes me wish I had crotch rot.

When you put in ”crotch rot” on a google images search, this picture comes up.

Isn’t it adorable? Almost makes me wish I had crotch rot.

July 9, 2008
DNA clears JonBenet Ramsey's family
I gotta say, I’m a little disappointed.
July 5, 2008

A lot of people have been posting muppet stuff lately.

This is a camera test that was done for the muppet movie. It’s Oz and Henson improvising. Henson can’t keep it together towards the end.

The whole thing is great, but start at 2:30 if you don’t want to watch the three or so minutes.

June 27, 2008
“ I miss you already, chicken fingers and baked potato.
Pat Baer, dealing with the news that Ranch 1 on the corner of 28th and 7th is no more (via anthonyking)